May 5th 2006
I’d never have suspected in a million years that you could buy inflatable rubber women on e-Bay. However not only can you buy them, you have a whole harem of them from which to make the selection of the plastic partner of your choice. They come in all shapes, sizes and colours, in blonde, brunette and redhead, with or without ‘artificial vaginas with realistic juices just like the real thing’. Christ when I was in my youth you had to make do with a hole bored in a telegraph pole.
But who on earth would want to buy a used inflatable rubber woman? Especially when the part of it most used is likely to have been the artificial vagina with realistic juices just like the real thing? Apparently many people, if the very competitive bidding for Bouncy Beyonce is anything to go by. I hope the lucky man who eventually bought her takes the precaution of giving her a thorough scrubbing and disinfecting before he exposes his penis to her realistic juices otherwise he could soon find himself with a realistic sexually transmitted disease.
After I’d found out that these sex dolls were available on e-Bay it got me wondering if you could also purchase them from Amazon. Could you buy an Amazon from Amazon? Apparently not, although they sell a book about them.
It’s surprising how many outlets you can buy inflatable rubber women from via the internet though. Literally hundreds. However a minute’s careful consideration might inform you that the internet is the ideal place to sell these artificial floozies, as the comparative secrecy of the transaction completely cuts out the embarrassment factor; for while it would be a huge source of embarrassment for most people to have to enter a sex shop and ask for an inflatable rubber woman, there is no stigma whatsoever attached to receiving an inflatable rubber woman through the post in a plain-wrapped package, provided of course the consignors have let it down first.
All this has rather put a damper on Atkins Down The Road’s plan to sell inflatable rubber women as artificial car passengers, as it his  contention that it is  the embarrassment factor that would drive the inflatable rubber women/artificial passenger traffic our way.
In consequence of the above I reported my findings to him. He agreed it could be a major snag and is to give the matter some thought. Rather him than me. I haven’t managed to get the thought of artificial vaginas with realistic juices just like the real thing out of my head yet.
Published by
Razzamatazz
Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.)
This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000….
My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas.
A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road.
I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.
Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.)
This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000….
My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas.
A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road.
I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.
View all posts by Razzamatazz
Wonder what the ‘juices’ are made from? Not sure I really want to know though…
(Wifey’s pleased I won’t be goin’ into partnership with Atkins now)