The Nation’s Favourite

June 18th 2006

Once again I have been lumped together with all the rest of the population of Britain and informed that someone is my favourite something or other. You know the sort of thing, you see it in the newspapers all the time – ‘Trevor McDonald, the nation’s favourite newscaster’, ‘Cilla Black, the nation’s favourite auntie’, ‘Sean Connery, the nation’s favourite Scotsman’. Not forgetting of course the one we used to get once a week on average, ‘The Queen Mother, the nation’s favourite granny’.

I once read that Michael Barrymore was ‘the nation’s favourite funnyman’, but I doubt very much he was the favourite of the poor sod who died in his swimming pool, or that the poor sod thought what happened to him was funny.

This time it is Cliff Richard, who I am informed is ‘the nation’s favourite oldie’. Well I am a member of our nation and he certainly isn’t my favourite oldie. I know a lot of oldies who I prefer to Cliff Richard. In fact I know a lot of Richards who I prefer to Cliff Richard – Keith Richards, Viv Richards, Little Richard, Richard Branson being just four of them. Nor is Trevor McDonald my favourite newscaster (John Suchet), my favourite auntie Cilla Black (my Auntie Annie) nor Sean Connery my favourite Scotsman (Billy Connolly).

And the Queen Mother was certainly not my favourite Granny. In fact had there been ten million grannies resident in Britain when the Queen Mother’s extravagances were still a drain on the taxpayer then she would have been my ten millionth favourite granny, and only then because there weren’t ten million and one grannies, even if the additional granny had been Granny ‘Chainsaw Anna’ Hargreaves.

Signed

Razzamatazz

Britain’s Favourite Blogger

Published by

Razzamatazz

Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things. Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.

2 thoughts on “The Nation’s Favourite”

  1. Peter Crouch – Britains favourite human asparagus
    Gary Glitter – Britains favourite paedophile
    Pete Dohery – Britains favourite junky
    Kate Moss – Britains favourite junky’s shag
    Owen Hargreaves – Britains favourite German/Canadian/vaguely English footballer

    We’re obssessed

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