Razzamatazz

July 7^th 2006

Yesterday officials stopped a woman tennis fan from taking an Alpro Yoghurt into the Wimbledon Tennis Championships because it might anger the official yoghurt sponsors Haagen-Dazs. Whatever next?

A WOMAN IS STOPPED BY AN OFFICIAL AFTER PASSING THROUGH THE WIMBLEDON TURNSTILES.

OFFICIAL: Can you open your handbag please, Madam?

WOMAN: What for?

OFFICIAL: I have to check you aren’t hiding any unofficial food in there.

WOMAN: I’m not.

OFFICIAL: I’ll be the judge of that. Open up please.

THE WOMAN OPENS HER HANDBAG. THE OFFICIAL PEERS INSIDE.

OFFICIAL: Hah! No unofficial food eh? Then what’s that?

WOMAN: A tampon.

OFFICIAL: Just as I thought. I’m afraid I’m going to have to confiscate it.

WOMAN: But….why?

OFFICIAL: Because our official tampon sponsors are Tampax and that isn’t a Tampax, is it.

WOMAN: You said food. A tampon isn’t food. I’m not going to eat it.

OFFICIAL: You could.

WOMAN: Eat a tampon?

OFFICIAL: If you get a bit peckish and can’t afford the official strawberries and cream you might.

WOMAN: But it’s made of cotton wool. Even if I wanted to eat it it would be far too tough.

OFFICIAL: You could dip it in your official cup of Tetley’s Tea.

WOMAN: All right. Even if I could eat it. Aren’t you forgetting something?.

OFFICIAL: What’s that?

WOMAN: The reason I’m carrying a tampon is because I’m having my period. Later on today I’ll need to use it. And if you confiscate it I won’t be able to do that, will I?

OFFICIAL: No problem, just stick an official Weetabix up.