Hello there

10th July 2006

Hello there. Atkins Down The Road hear. Or should I say, as I’m living in Razza’s house wile he’s away, Atkins Up The Road. whatever.

What Razza said about my spelling is perfectly true, or at least I think it is, but how would I know for sure if I can’t spell properly? All I want to say about it is that when I was Fourteen I discovered girls and was learning how to shag, and I know which of them I’d rather be good at and it isn’t Spelling. Anyway hasn’t he ever heard of Microsoft Word Spell Check witch I always use to correct all my Spellings?

Razza has left ten meat balls for the Pollitt’s Dog in the frig, one a day, to keep it quiet. I might feed them to the wife one a day to keep HER quiet but I’m certainly not going to be arsed with feeding meat balls to a bloody Dog to keep it quiet. If it starts barking all day wile I’m in residence hear it’s a goner.

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to put up with Razza’s telly for a week. It’s a Widescreen, but not all that wide, nowhere near as wide as ours anyway, and it isn’t a Plasma like ours or even a flat screen. 

when I told him about our Plasma telly when we got it he said what did he want with a Plasma, theirs only shit on the telly, so all it would mean if he had a plasma telly is that he’d be able to see the shit a lot clearer and it was all ready quite clear enough for him thank you very much.

One good thing is he’s got every Episode of The Sopranos on DVD. But they’re all on divettes, I think you call them, and my DVD player won’t play divettes so I haven’t been able to borrow them, so over the next week I’ll be able to play them all on his DVD Player. But on his not very wide screen Non-Plasma shit television set. I’ll definitely have to get our telly up hear, it’ll only take a few minuets.

 

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Razzamatazz

Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things. Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.

3 thoughts on “Hello there”

  1. Howdo Mr A. Nice to meet yer. About this blow up doll business. Do yer think it’ll really work? ‘N what if yer stopped by plod for a spot check on yer tax n such? How would yer explain yer unusual passenger? Inquiring minds need to know

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