The Inflatable Husband
July 22nd 2006
The inflatable rubber man (called The Inflatable Husband) arrived in the post this morning in plain packaging. It wasn’t as plain as The Inflatable husband! What a disappointment. I couldn’t have been more disappointed if The Trouble had given me a promise and I jumped into bed to find she’d changed into Margaret Beckitt.
The Inflatable Husband is only one metre tall, as I suspected, not a normal-sized man with a one metre long cock, but not only that, it hasn’t even got a cock. It resembles the picture of it on the box about as much as I resemble George Clooney, which isn’t very much in case you’re wondering girls. (And if you are wondering what I look like you can find out by going to this page , although I must confess the photo was taken some time ago. In fact the original was in sepia.)
But I digress. As I said The Inflatable Husband is not at all like the picture on the box, which is of a tall, good-looking, bronzed, bare-chested Lothario with a toned six pack – in reality it looks more like the Roswell alien from space which fetched up in America some time ago, or a giant jelly baby.
Why would a woman want to buy such an object? It can’t be for the reason that a man buys an inflatable rubber woman (Atkins Down The Road and I excepted), to have sex with it, because it hasn’t got a cock. Unless there’s some way you can attach a dildo to it, but if there is it isn’t apparent. And anyway why would a woman want to attach a dildo to a 1 metre inflatable rubber man unless she’s into dwarves? In which case she should go out and get herself a real dwarf, I’m sure there are plenty of them going short, if you’ll pardon the expression.
I suppose an optimist might say that the valve with which you blow it up could be a penis but as it’s only half an inch long and in the middle of its back that might be straining credulity a little too far, even for a supreme optimist.
It’s certainly not going to be any use as an artificial car passenger, that’s for sure. I’ve tried it and it looks ridiculous. You can either stand it up or, with great difficulty, sit it down. The idea of the artificial passenger is of course to fool the police into believing it’s a real passenger but I don’t think even our police are thick enough to be fooled by a one metre high inflatable rubber man stood up on the seat, and if you sit it down they wouldn’t be able to see it.
Atkins suggested we could try pumping it up a bit more until it was man-sized, above five feet tall he reckoned we could get away with, but by the time we’d pumped it up to five feet tall it was five feet wide and we couldn’t get in the car, let alone sit it down in it. Still it was only £7 so I wasn’t expecting too much from it, and it was worth a try.
you could sell it to your “little friend” at the swimming classes. has he got a sister that could use it?
you could have hit upon a niche in the market here, little companions for little people! buy em for £7 and flog em for £14. instant profit. i want a cut if it is successful!
Comment by the cappuccino kid — July 23, 2006 @ 4:39 am
Your mental state appears to be closing in on my own. Vodka helps. I think. The Cappuccino Kid has long been my mental equal as his comment shows…(He is coming on a football tour with me. We may not survive. We have a player called ‘TooTall’. Having seen him in the showers he doesn’t qualify for any of this….)
Comment by Four Dinners — July 23, 2006 @ 12:32 pm
still not worked out whether or not that is a compliment or not!
your mental equal?
help!
Comment by the cappuccino kid — July 24, 2006 @ 2:56 am
Feeling let down?
Sorry.
Comment by infinitemuppets — July 28, 2006 @ 10:14 am
So Clooney is thinking about running for office? I know he’s pretty politically active, but with his party past I can’t see him going far.
Comment by mr skin — October 16, 2006 @ 4:34 pm
How To Breast Enlargement In Only Natural Breast Enhancement Starting From Scratch
Comment by Natural Breast Enlargement — November 20, 2006 @ 3:49 am
Get your free drug test kit here
Comment by Drug Test — December 2, 2006 @ 8:47 pm
Proven Advice To Pueraria Mirifica Breast Enhancement Herbal — By An Expert
Comment by Breast Enhancement Herbal Pueraria Mirifica — December 10, 2006 @ 8:27 pm
Free Glucose Monitor…
[…]through the Diabetic Connect program[…]…
Trackback by Glycemic Meter — May 6, 2011 @ 7:08 pm
Dark Shadows Under Eye…
[…]that hollywood look without surgery[…]…
Trackback by Dark Under Eye Circles — May 9, 2011 @ 5:01 pm
iPad eBook Reader…
[…]most people don’t think of the iPad as an eBook reading device[…]…
Trackback by Online Library — May 9, 2011 @ 9:28 pm
Glucose Meter…
[…]keeping diabetes in check begins with monitoring[…]…
Trackback by Free Glucose Monitor — May 11, 2011 @ 6:05 pm
Dark Under Eye…
[…]Hydrolyze has been know to cure even the most stubborn[…]…
Trackback by Dark Under Eyes — May 17, 2011 @ 7:38 pm
eBook Library Software…
[…]software allowing your Nook or Kindle to become a[…]…
Trackback by eBook Libraries — May 18, 2011 @ 1:09 pm
Diabetes Mellitus…
[…]glucose monitors can be obtained free of charge[…]…
Trackback by Bloodless Glucose Monitor — May 30, 2011 @ 1:51 pm
Websites worth visiting……
[…]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[…]………
Trackback by Hotel London — July 22, 2011 @ 10:04 pm
Visitor recommendations trackback……
[…]one of our visitors recently recommended the following website[…]………
Trackback by hotels in amsterdam — July 25, 2011 @ 4:05 pm
Sites we Like………
[…] Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the latest sites that we choose […]………
Trackback by hotels in berlin — July 26, 2011 @ 12:18 pm
Awesome website……
[…]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]………
Trackback by Cheap Hotels in Antwerp — July 26, 2011 @ 5:50 pm
Gems form the internet…
[…]very few websites that happen to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]……
Trackback by garment sales worldwide — July 28, 2011 @ 11:18 am
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by copenhagen hotels — July 29, 2011 @ 12:33 am
Great website…
[…]we like to honor many other internet sites on the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by hotel in florence — August 1, 2011 @ 12:29 am
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by filipino food recipes — August 2, 2011 @ 2:08 pm
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by ecommerce resource links — August 3, 2011 @ 12:19 pm
Cool sites……
[…]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[…]………
Trackback by free level 2 quotes — August 3, 2011 @ 7:17 pm
Blogs you should be reading……
[…]Here is a great blog you might find Interesting that we encourage you[…]……
Trackback by innsbruck hotels — August 3, 2011 @ 11:02 pm
WOW! check this out!……
Amazing Post, worth a read……
Trackback by comunio puntos — August 6, 2011 @ 1:00 pm
Awesome website……
[…]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]………
Trackback by ostend hotels — August 7, 2011 @ 10:45 pm
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by Tax Lawyer — August 8, 2011 @ 10:06 am
Our Trackback……
[…]very few websites that happen to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by pisa hotels — August 9, 2011 @ 9:04 pm
WOW! check this out!……
Amazing Post, worth a read……
Trackback by Professional Collegiate Sprots — August 10, 2011 @ 1:30 am
WOW! check this out!……
Amazing Post, worth a read……
Trackback by hotel in rome — August 12, 2011 @ 5:41 pm
Cool sites……
[…]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[…]………
Trackback by elan ver — August 13, 2011 @ 1:48 pm
Websites worth visiting……
[…]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[…]………
Trackback by Terminology Supplements — August 17, 2011 @ 2:12 am
Websites worth visiting……
[…]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[…]………
Trackback by hotel in strasbourg — August 17, 2011 @ 3:27 pm
Blogs you should be reading……
[…]Here is a great blog you might find Interesting that we encourage you[…]……
Trackback by automation testing — August 21, 2011 @ 12:39 pm
Visitor recommendations trackback……
[…]one of our visitors recently recommended the following website[…]………
Trackback by automation testing — August 21, 2011 @ 12:41 pm
Websites we think you should visit…
[… ]although websites we back link to below are considerably not based on ours, we feel they’re actually worth a undergo, so have a look[… ]……
Trackback by simvastatin side effects — August 21, 2011 @ 6:23 pm
Online Article……
[…]The info mentioned in the article is some of the best available […]………
Trackback by palm beach club — August 24, 2011 @ 12:58 am
Check this out……
[…] that is the end of this article. Here you’ll find some sites that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[…]………
Trackback by Hotels in Venice — August 24, 2011 @ 8:21 am
Read was interesting, stay in touch……
[…]please visit the sites we follow, including this one, as it represents our picks from the web[…]……
Trackback by just dance 2 — August 26, 2011 @ 3:46 pm
Our Trackback……
[…]very few websites that happen to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by comparative effectiveness cme — August 27, 2011 @ 1:30 am
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by Friv — August 30, 2011 @ 10:14 pm
Blogs you should be reading……
[…]Here is a great blog you might find Interesting that we encourage you[…]……
Trackback by increase sperm motility — September 2, 2011 @ 2:47 pm
Awesome website……
[…]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]………
Trackback by Brussels Hotels — September 7, 2011 @ 3:52 pm