Helpful Hints No 3
How To Deal With Junk Mail
July 23rd
I caught up with my junk mail return service today.
I suppose I should be used to it by now but it still never ceases to amaze me just how much of this unwanted garbage lands on my hall floor; it’s only four weeks since I last dealt with it and there must be fifty letters at least. When you take that over a year, and add to it the supermarket flyers, carpet cleaning offers, Wicks catalogues, freebie newspapers and sundry other bumf that infiltrates my letter box it amounts to a lot of paper. Maybe not requiring raw material of rainforest dimensions, as some might exaggerate, but certainly a decent-sized copse.
At first I used to content myself with merely dropping my junk mail in the waste bin. Later I took to opening it, discarding the contents, sealing up the pre-paid reply envelope found inside, and posting it back to from whence it came. This of course meant that the companies who send me the junk mail end up paying the postage on the letter whilst have nothing to show for it, and of course causing the pendulum to swing my way a little.
Recently I refined the service, causing the pendulum to swing even farther in my direction. What I do now is open two junk mail letters at a time, take out the contents, put the contents of letter ‘A’ into the pre-paid reply envelope from letter ‘B’, and vice versa, then send them back. I’ve no idea as to the reaction of the person at the other end who opens them. Probably apathy. But then I don’t care.
A refinement of the above idea, which I have done quite a few times, is to actually fill in the order forms of two junk mail offers and return them in the wrong envelopes. Except for my credit card details, which I falsify just in case, I fill them in absolutely correctly, age, address, where to leave the parcel if I am out etc. For example the other week I received in the same post a plant catalogue and the offer of the latest in deaf aids. I ordered four dozen daffodil bulbs from the deaf aid people and two deaf aids from the plant catalogue people. I have yet to receive a reply from either of them.
Now you might think that a plant catalogue firm, having received an order for two deaf aids, would pass the letter on to the deaf aid people, but you would be wrong. Apparently plant catalogue companies are only interested in selling plants; you could be as deaf as a post for all they care as long as you buy a hundred onion sets or a bag of early cropping seed potatoes.
Similarly you might suppose that the deaf aid company, having wrongly received an order for four dozen daffodil bulbs, would see to it that it reached its correct destination. After all there is a good chance that the man who sent the order is deaf, so you wouldn’t expect them to knowingly withhold from him the joy of seeing his daffodils blossom come spring, even if he wouldn’t be able to hear them rustle in the breeze. Especially as he wouldn’t be able to hear them rustle in the breeze. But again, no.
And it isn’t just the plant catalogue and deaf aid companies who are so cold and uncaring. Since I started doing it I must have sent at least a couple of dozen orders to the wrong address and I have yet to hear so much as a whisper from any of them. Seemingly there is zero liaison between companies, who are apparently only interested in selling their own goods. Well cut my legs off and call me Shorty!
I have yet to meet the person who likes receiving junk mail, so with this in mind here’s a thought - why doesn’t everyone take a leaf out of my book and do as I do. It takes little effort, and there’s no need to go to the trouble of swapping over the contents of the envelopes, just send the empty pre-paid envelope back. If everyone were to do this there would be no more junk mail after about three months.
… or you could, of course, use the Mail Preference Service (www.mpsonline.org.uk), and the Telephone Preference Service (www.tpsonline.org.uk) - neither of which are as much fun, but thay are effective.
Comment by Graham — July 24, 2006 @ 2:38 am
i have, on occasion, used the method of returning it to sender, but i am going to start using your re-re-revised method, and post orders for non relevant stuff!
pure genius!
Comment by the cappuccino kid — July 24, 2006 @ 3:06 am
This sounds like fun. I’ll be giving it a go too.
Comment by helena — July 24, 2006 @ 6:07 am
Little Caz has been doing this for yonks. It works. No junk mail from the same places anyroad.
Comment by Four Dinners — July 24, 2006 @ 1:01 pm
You ok Raz? A bit quiet for you lately. If yer check out Cind on me blog links yer’ll see something that will upset Atkins. Someone’s producing blow up men to put in cars driven by single women. Sorry Atkins.
Comment by Four Dinners — July 31, 2006 @ 9:49 am
Me and a mate are in the Sod Off Society. We scrawl Sod Off all over everything and send it back in the envelopes.
I like your idea better though TR.
Comment by Birdy — August 1, 2006 @ 5:48 am
Raz?
Comment by Four Dinners — August 3, 2006 @ 7:22 am
Sorry about no blogs lately but I’ve been up to my arms getting my books Dear Air 2000 and Football Crazy ready for publication and I just haven’t had the time.
Comment by Razzamatazz — August 4, 2006 @ 10:20 am
Andy Rooney puts everything in the return envelope and sends it back. “Let them throw away all that paper!”
Comment by Essy — August 7, 2006 @ 11:59 am
glad everythings ok, thought you’d been buried under a pile of junk mail!
Comment by helena — August 7, 2006 @ 7:22 pm
Wheew! pc sick for a week, came back n still nowt. Glad yer ok. Look forward to the books. I’ll look out for them.
Comment by Four Dinners — August 10, 2006 @ 8:53 am
Glad you are O.K. I thought you had gone a bit quiet.
Comment by Ruth — August 11, 2006 @ 1:23 pm
like dinners has said, i have been away for two weeks and you haven’t written anything. scared me. glad you are ok. later.
Comment by the cappuccino kid — August 12, 2006 @ 5:29 am
you still ok? hope so, they haven’t found the dog have they?
Comment by the cappuccino kid — August 17, 2006 @ 12:21 am
why not let atkins take over again for a while? i want to know if they ever finished painting his skirting boards!
come back soon, we need your genius whit.
Comment by the cappuccino kid — August 17, 2006 @ 12:23 am
come on razza, where you at?
Comment by the cappuccino kid — August 29, 2006 @ 5:04 am
After 3…1, 2, 3
We want Razza, We want Razza
You sure yer ok mate?
Comment by Four Dinners — August 30, 2006 @ 7:40 am
earth to razza, earth to razza.
yes or no? worried.
Comment by the cappuccino kid — September 8, 2006 @ 12:46 am
okay, joking over, now i am REALLY CONCERNED!
please, anybody, is razza ok?
Comment by the cappuccino kid — September 18, 2006 @ 1:15 am
He’s still working on the books, be sure to check on www.topcomedy.co.uk for information on when they become available.
Comment by Deano — September 19, 2006 @ 8:39 pm
cheers Deano. Will do.
Comment by fourdinners — October 1, 2006 @ 3:42 am
when will you be back mr ravenscroft?
i check here daily, but to no avail.
hoping all is well.
a big fan.
cappy!
Comment by the cappuccino kid — November 6, 2006 @ 5:19 am
right, it’s a month tomorrow since i left that last message! what is going on in terry land? you have to at least let us know if the nieghbours from hell are still there, if atkins little job with the dog has been found out, and if you finally got your skirting boards painted!!!
worried.
Comment by the cappuccino kid — December 5, 2006 @ 12:40 am
Hello, great site, I found a lot of useful information here, thanks a lot for Your work!
With the best regards!
Frank
Comment by Frankxc — January 31, 2007 @ 11:56 am
Fiction eBooks…
[…]the fiction genre is moving towards eBook formats[…]…
Trackback by eBook Library — May 9, 2011 @ 6:01 pm
Dark Shadows Under Eye…
[…]that hollywood look without surgery[…]…
Trackback by Dark Under Eye Circles — May 9, 2011 @ 6:20 pm
Causes of Diabetes…
[…]the reason insulin is important is because[…]…
Trackback by Free Glucose Monitors — May 11, 2011 @ 11:38 pm
Buy eBooks…
[…]purchasing eBooks couldn’t be easier[…]…
Trackback by eBook Download for Free — May 18, 2011 @ 1:06 pm
Free Glucose Monitor…
[…]through the Diabetic Connect program[…]…
Trackback by Glucose Monitors — May 18, 2011 @ 4:25 pm
Dark Shadows Under Eye…
[…]that hollywood look without surgery[…]…
Trackback by Black Under Eye — May 18, 2011 @ 9:52 pm
Dark Under Eye Circle…
[…]removed in just 30 days of free treatment[…]…
Trackback by Beauty Tips — May 29, 2011 @ 10:49 pm
Overview of Diabetes…
[…]Diabetes is more common than most people think[…]…
Trackback by Diabetics Healthy Eating Guide — May 30, 2011 @ 1:24 am
Glucose Monitor…
[…]Blood Glucose Levels are important to monitor regularly[…]…
Trackback by Normal Blood Glucose Levels — May 30, 2011 @ 2:05 pm
{Undeniably|Unquestionably|Definitely} believe that which you {stated|said}. Your favorite {justification|reason} {appeared to be|seemed to be} on the {internet|net|web} the {simplest|easiest} thing to be aware of. I say to you, I {definitely|certain…
Whenever an individual or a business decides that success has been attained, progress stops. …
Trackback by how to build muscle without weights — July 18, 2011 @ 9:33 am
Awesome website…
[…]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]……
Trackback by garment news daily — July 28, 2011 @ 9:46 am
Sites we Like………
[…] Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the latest sites that we choose […]………
Trackback by hotels in cordoba — July 29, 2011 @ 1:05 am
Check this out……
[…] that is the end of this article. Here you’ll find some sites that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[…]………
Trackback by Los Angeles Home Inspections — July 30, 2011 @ 2:37 pm
Great website…
[…]we like to honor many other internet sites on the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by hotels in innsbruck — August 3, 2011 @ 9:17 pm
Go big or go home. Because it’s true. What do you have to lose? …
I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much …
Trackback by lost dvd series — August 9, 2011 @ 12:45 pm
Cool sites……
[…]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[…]………
Trackback by rimini hotels — August 9, 2011 @ 6:39 pm
Sites we Like………
[…] Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the latest sites that we choose […]………
Trackback by asian dating — August 10, 2011 @ 12:50 am
Real riches are the riches possessed inside. …
Great blog here! Also your website loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol…
Trackback by greys anatomy — August 10, 2011 @ 1:44 am
Awesome website……
[…]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]………
Trackback by Strongman Power Lifting — August 10, 2011 @ 2:34 pm
Great website…
[…]we like to honor many other internet sites on the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by st giles hotel london — August 12, 2011 @ 6:50 pm
Our Trackback……
[…]very few websites that happen to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by Workbench — August 13, 2011 @ 5:54 pm
Online Article……
[…]The info mentioned in the article is some of the best available […]………
Trackback by venice hotels — August 17, 2011 @ 4:20 pm
The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife….
I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very helpful information specifically the last part
I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck….
Trackback by student loan interest rates — August 19, 2011 @ 12:51 am
Awesome website……
[…]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]………
Trackback by angry birds summer pignic walkthrough — August 21, 2011 @ 1:04 pm
Sources…
[… ]check underneath, are some totally unrelated web pages to ours, however, there’re most trustworthy sources that individuals use[… ]……
Trackback by simvastatin side effects — August 21, 2011 @ 2:34 pm
Online Article……
[…]The info mentioned in the article is some of the best available […]………
Trackback by Dentists in Surrey — August 23, 2011 @ 8:37 pm
Great website…
[…]we like to honor many other internet sites on the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[…]………
Trackback by seo — August 23, 2011 @ 10:36 pm
Check this out……
[…] that is the end of this article. Here you’ll find some sites that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[…]………
Trackback by Hotels in Napoli — August 24, 2011 @ 9:24 am
Check this out……
[…] that is the end of this article. Here you’ll find some sites that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[…]………
Trackback by traffic exchange — August 27, 2011 @ 1:53 am
Love your site…
I have really learned result-oriented things through your weblog….
Trackback by cheap laptops ireland — August 29, 2011 @ 9:04 am
How To Change Your Business…
[…]If you are conscious what is your job you can do a lot more than if you don’t have much knowledge…[…]…
Trackback by 1234test.com — August 30, 2011 @ 3:29 pm
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by semenax benefits — September 2, 2011 @ 12:36 pm
Blogs you should be reading……
[…]Here is a great blog you might find Interesting that we encourage you[…]……
Trackback by traffic exchange — September 2, 2011 @ 9:22 pm
Websites worth visiting……
[…]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[…]………
Trackback by 34ddd — September 2, 2011 @ 10:56 pm
Look at this website…
[…]below you’ll find the link to some sites that we think you should visit[…]……
Trackback by dyson vacuum reviews — September 6, 2011 @ 11:55 am
Cool sites……
[…]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[…]………
Trackback by Herbal Beauty — September 7, 2011 @ 2:14 pm
You should check this out……
[…] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]………
Trackback by ÃéÒ¹¤éÒÍ͹äÅ¹ì — September 7, 2011 @ 2:51 pm