BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2008

21st December 2006

A meeting of BBC TV bigwigs is in progress.

BBC CHAIRMAN: So that’s settled then, Prince Andrew will be BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2008.

BBC CONTROLLER: Making it the third leg of Royal treble.

BBC CHAIRMAN: Following Zara Phillips’s win for Three Day Eventing in 2006 and the Duke of Edinburgh victory in 2007 for insulting foreigners.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Carriage racing.

BBC CHAIRMAN:  Whatever. So all that remains is to select the sport in which Prince Andrew will triumph.

BBC CONTROLLER: How about shagging?

BBC CHAIRMAN: Yes, a possibility, I’ve heard he’s pretty good at that.

BBC CONTROLLER: We’ll pencil that in then.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Er…….?

BBC CHAIRMAN: Yes?

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Well, shagging…..I mean it isn’t a sport, is it.

BBC CHAIRMAN: I suppose not.

BBC CONTROLLER: It’s an indoor sport.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Even so, I don’t think we’d get away with it.

BBC CONTROLLER: How about flying then? He’s very good at flying. Flies anywhere and everywhere at the drop of a hat.

BBC CHAIRMAN: Yes, they don’t call him Air Miles Andy for nothing.

BBC CONTROLLER: And….maybe….?

BBC CHAIRMAN: Yes?

BBC CONTROLLER: Well I was thinking….if he happens to be a member of the five miles high club, which he very probably is, maybe we could give him a double award for flying and shagging?

BBC CHAIRMAN: Excellent. And if he could remember who it was he shagged we could give them the team award too.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Before you get too excited I think we’ve more or less established that shagging isn’t a sport. Nor is flying for that matter.

BBC CHAIRMAN: Well are there any real sports he takes part in?

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: He plays golf. He’s a six handicapper I believe.

BBC CONTROLLER: Excellent. We’ll make him BBC Sports Personality for his golf then.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: He would have to win something though.

BBC CHAIRMAN: Well can’t he win that competition we cover….what is it called?

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: The Open Championship. Actually it’s getting on for the only golf competition we cover nowadays.

BBC CONTROLLER: That’s makes it even better then.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Well it would be – except that Prince Andrew has about as much chance of winning the Open Championship as I have.

BBC CHAIRMAN: Oh I don’t think he’d have to win it.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Zara Phillips won.

BBC CONTROLLER: Yes but she takes part in a sport nobody has heard of doesn’t she. Golf is big time. Second or third would be good enough.

BBC HEAD OF SPORT: Believe me gentlemen if Prince Andrew were to enter the Open he would come in last, and by a long way.

BBC CHAIRMAN: Hmm, I don’t think we’d get away with that.

BBC CONTROLLER: Right, there’s only one thing for it. Take a note Miss Phelps.

‘BBC Grandstand’s coverage of Rugby League, Three Day Eventing and Tiddlywinks will soon be augmented by the popular new sport of Shagging……..’

Ignore this if you have already read it. My books Dear Air 2000 and Football Crazy are now in print. They are priced at £8.99 each and are available from Amazon, but readers of my blog can buy them direct from me for £7.50 including p & p. Just send me a cheque and I will send the book/books by return.

My address is –

Terry Ravenscroft, 19 Ventura Court, Ollersett Avenue, New Mills, High Peak, SK22 4LL

dearair2000/air2000cover.htm”>Dear Air 2000

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1 Comment

  1. The cash ( as requested) is in the mail..
    I feel so stealthy

    Comment by Cynnie — December 21, 2006 @ 7:22 pm

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