8th January 2007Whenever someone loses their life in tragic circumstances they are always described thus: “Oh he was a smashing bloke. Really genuine. And so generous. He would do anything for anybody.’
Or ‘She was a wonderful woman. A Saint. Everybody liked her. I never heard anybody say a bad thing against her.
Or ‘She was a lovely girl. So bubbly. Always had a smile on her face and a kind word.’ 
No one is ever a shithouse. No one ever says; ‘He was a right arsehole. A real tight-fisted vindictive twat who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire or give you the dirt from under his fingernails.’
This maxim isn’t confined to victims of murderers or those unfortunates who have been visited by incurable diseases. It seems to apply to anyone who has died. I have been to quite a few funerals over the years and I have yet to hear a eulogy in which the speaker describes the deceased in anything but the most glowing terms. And most certainly not as a shithouse.
The conclusion to be drawn from this state of affairs is that only the good die, shithouses never. So, in an effort to live as long as possible, I am going to become a shithouse. Starting today.

Ignore this if you have already read it. My books Dear Air 2000 and Football Crazy are now in print. They are priced at £8.99 each and are available from Amazon, but readers of my blog can buy them direct from me for £7.50 including p & p. Just send me a cheque and I will send the book/books by return.

You can write to me at –

Terry Ravenscroft, 19 Ventura Court, Ollersett Avenue, New Mills, High Peak, SK22 4LL

Dear Air 2000Football Crazy


  1. This post made me cry tears of laughter.

    You notice that when people leave bouquets of flowers at the scene of a tragedy they alway come with a heartfelt “WHY?!” or “Now at peace” on the card.

    Nobody ever leaves “HA! That’ll teach you for driving at 95mph in a built-up area, won’t it?” or “You twat. I told you not to smoke in bed”

    More truth in mourning. That’s what we need.

    Comment by Scaryduck — January 9, 2007 @ 7:45 am

  2. You seem to have struck a chord here…

    However, I did write a while back, about the death of a bloke in my village and how much I rejoiced. Not that he was an evil person – he was just a fucking drunken nuisance.


    Comment by Legless123 — January 16, 2007 @ 6:52 am

  3. ‘He was a pillar of the community’ — He was a twat.

    Comment by Sir Findo Gask — January 17, 2007 @ 2:49 pm

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