20th January 2007

Walking to the shops this morning I saw a pink car. I’ve seen pink cars before that were pink on the outside and cars that were pink on the inside but this car was pink on both the outside and the inside. The seats were bedecked in pink covers, the steering wheel wore a fluffy pink glove, a giant pair of pink dice hung in the windscreen and a pink nodding dog sat stupidly in the back window waiting to nod.
A notice in the window ‘Babe on Board’ informed me that the car’s owner was a female, unless there was a man who called himself ‘Babe’ who owned a totally pink car, which I very much doubted. This was confirmed a moment or two later when a woman aged about twenty five dressed in a pink jump suit walked out of the door of a hairdressers shop and made for the car. In addition to the pink jumpsuit she was wearing pink trainers and a pink ski cap and was clutching a pink bag, which was no doubt filled with pink objects, purse, mobile, vibrator etc.
When she got in the car she virtually disappeared from sight, lost in all the pinkness. All you could see was a face and a pair of hands, seemingly floating in a sea of pink.
Years ago there used to be a company called ‘The Black Theatre of Prague’ who appeared on TV regularly, whose act consisted of prancing about against a black background whilst wearing black jumpsuits and white gloves, so that all the viewers could see were pairs of hands seemingly floating about in the ether. This woman was obviously ‘The Pink Theatre of New Mills’.
Why do women love pink so much? I gave this enigma a coat of thought and came up with the idea that it might be because babies are pink and that all women love babies, so by extension loving pink comes naturally to them. But women’s tits are pink and all men love women’s tits and men don’t love pink, so that can’t be the reason.
Why do all women like pink?” I asked The Trouble when I got home.
“That grid in the backyard is blocked again, you were supposed to be clearing it and all you can do is wonder why women wear pink?” she said, quite unpleasantly, for some reason or other.
“And I’ll do that just as soon as I’ve found out why it is that women like pink,” I said. “First things, first.”
“It’s so that men don’t have to wear it,” she said. “Now go and clear that grid”.
I went and cleared the grid.
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  1. I remember The Black Theatre of Prague on TV (although I’d forgotten their name). Don’t suppose they’re allowed to perform over here anymore with a name like that…..The Multi-Cultural Theatre of Prague? No….The Afro-Carribean Theatre of Prague? Unlikely….The Mood Tony Blair Puts Me In Theatre of Prague?…soz…drunk again

    Caz doesn’t like pink. Red. Must be her Gaelic ancestory. Red matches her personality. Lethal at ten paces with a toothbrush is Caz.

    Comment by drunk punk — January 20, 2007 @ 12:58 pm

  2. I used to know an old lady called Bluedith. Everything in her flat was blue, even the budgie. Her spectacles were blue-tinted (Bluedith, not Bluey the budgie’s, he didn’t wear spectacles).

    she was a bit odd.

    I don’t go for pink much.

    Comment by z — January 20, 2007 @ 2:22 pm

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