Baby On Board

2nd February 2007

The other day I saw a variation of the ubiquitous ‘Baby On Board’ stickers that some people find it necessary to have displayed in the rear window of their cars. It read: ‘Small Person On Board’. I thought at first that it meant the car was being driven by a dwarf, and was a variation on the Long Vehicle/Short Vehicle sticker joke, but on looking in the car saw that the small person referred to was a toddler.
Since then, and with time always on my hands, a benefit or curse, depending upon your disposition, that comes with retirement, I have spent quite a bit of time looking at cars to see if I could spot any more ‘Small Person On Board’ stickers. I found several. I also found two or three ‘Cheeky Little Monkey On Board’ stickers. I did not however, as might be expected, all children by no means being little angels, see any ‘Little Twat On Board’ stickers. Nor any “Whingeing Little Git On Board’ stickers.
There is obviously a gap in the market here, and after having a talk with Atkins Down The Road my good friend and I intend to fill it. We are already looking at the economics of bringing out ‘Little Twat On Board’ and “Whingeing Little Git On Board’ stickers, plus a ‘Little Fucking Mardarse On Board’ and we are of the opinion that we should be able to put them on the market for under two pounds.
Suggestions for other obnoxious children stickers are most welcome.

Ignore this if you have already read it. My books Dear Air 2000 and Football Crazy are now in print. They are priced at £8.99 each and are available from Amazon, but readers of my blog can buy them direct from me for £7.50 including p & p. Just send me a cheque and I will send the book/books by return.

You can write to me at –

Terry Ravenscroft, 19 Ventura Court, Ollersett Avenue, New Mills, High Peak, SK22 4LL

Dear Air 2000

Football Crazy

1 Comment

  1. first off, soz. gone back to DILLIGAF. Messin peoples linky thingy’s around. Disgraceful behaviour.

    How about ‘Shitty arsed little bastard on board’
    or ‘Obnoxious oik on board’. Do I get a cut if these sell?

    Comment by Four Dinners — February 2, 2007 @ 11:55 am

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