Liverpool – City of Culture

LIVERPOOL – EUROPEAN CITY OF CULTURE 2008

Programme of events – May 1st to May 30th.

City of Liverpool.
Permanent city-wide display of Cars With Their Wheels Missing Balanced On Piles Of Bricks. This living exhibition is being added to daily so return visits are highly recommended.

Anfield Stadium.
  Exhibition by Liverpool Football Club supporters about the Hillsborough disaster in which 96 Reds fans lost their lives through everybody’s fault but theirs. Ticket price of £40 includes enough beer to get legless in a local pub before entering the stadium.

Everyman Theatre.
  Every morning. ‘Soap’. Liverpool’s own King of the Soap Operas Phil Redmond, creator of Brookside and Hollyoaks, explains the secret of writing successful soaps. Lesson 3 – Work Plenty Of Shagging Into It.

Stanley Park
Every day at noon. Mass demonstration of Self Pity. Citizens of Liverpool (all sons and daughters are welcome to take part if you can tear yourself out of bed), instruct festival visitors on how to feel sorry for themselves. Displays of hand wringing on the hour.

Goodison Park.
Rock concert by the two surviving Beatles who have survived which will make you wish it had been the other two Beatles who had survived. Ringo will sing, without even a trace of irony, ‘I’ll Get By With The Help Of My Friends’. Paul has promised not to sing ‘The Frog Chorus’.

Everyman Theatre.
Every evening at 7. ‘Live on the Dole’, starring Ricky Tomlinson.  Will unemployed scouser scally Wacker Wainwright continue to draw unemployment benefit when he gets a job as a child minder, or will he continue to draw unemployment and also claim family allowance for the children he is minding? ‘Hilarious’, Derek Hatton.

 

 

Programme of events – May 1st to May 30th.

Permanent city-wide display of Cars With Their Wheels Missing Balanced On Piles Of Bricks. This living exhibition is being added to daily so return visits are highly recommended.

Everyman Theatre. Every morning. ‘Soap’. Liverpool’s own King of the Soap Operas Phil Redmond, creator of Brookside and Hollyoaks, explains the secret of writing successful soaps. Lesson 3 – Work Plenty Of Shagging Into It.

Every day at noon or when you can tear yourself out of bed. Mass demonstration of Self Pity in Stanley Park. Citizens of Liverpool (all sons and daughters are welcome to take part), instruct festival visitors on how to feel sorry for themselves. Displays of hand wringing on the hour.

Rock. Goodison Park. Concert by the two Beatles who should have died rather than the two who did. Ringo will sing, without even a trace of irony, ‘I’ll Get By With The Help Of My Friends’. Paul has promised not to sing ‘The Frog Chorus’.

Everyman Theatre.  Every evening at 7. ‘Live on the Dole’, starring Ricky Tomlinson.  Will unemployed scouser scally Wacker Wainwright continue to draw unemployment benefit when he gets a job as a child minder, or will he continue to draw unemployment and also claim family allowance for the children he is minding? ‘Hilarious’, Derek Hatton.

Anfield Stadium. Re-creation of the Hillsborough disaster in which 96 Liverpool supporters lost their lives through no fault of their own. Ticket price of £40 includes enough beer to get legless in a local pub before entering the stadium.