Premiership Footballer

The Hard Life Of A Premiership Footballer

 

 

People think the life of a Premiership footballer is cushy but that just isn’t so.

They think that apart from match days we just train every morning and then have the rest of the day off. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. We’re a bit like teachers in that respect. People think that teachers just start work at nine –o-clock in the morning and work till three in the afternoon and that’s it. They forget that teachers have to spend hours and hours doing all the marking and planning the children’s lessons too. Well it’s like that with footballers. People think that apart from training every morning we don’t have any other responsibilities, there isn’t anything else we have to do. They conveniently forget that we have to go shopping every afternoon. In fact most Premiership footballers have to spend more time shopping than they do training. I know I do. And it’s bloody hard work too. You try getting through a hundred grand every week, it isn’t easy. All right, I suppose you could take the easy way out and buy a hundred grand car every week, which wouldn’t take up too much of your time granted, but even if you filled your four car garage then filled up your grounds with cars it wouldn’t be long before you couldn’t move for bleeding cars, I know, I did it.

So buying a hundred grand car every week only lasts for about fifteen weeks. Then you have to think of other things you can spend your money on. We’ve already got a swimming pool, naturally, so I can’t spend anything on a swimming pool. Unless I was to make the one we’ve already got bigger or have another one built for the kids but I can’t do that as we haven’t got any more room because of all the cars. Putting another couple of cars in the swimming pool would get rid of another two hundred grand I suppose but two weeks later you’ve got the same problem, as I learned after I put the first two cars in the swimming pool.

That leaves buying things for the house and clobber. But how many Agas can you have? We’ve got five, six when we’ve had one put on the landing next week, but there just isn’t room for any more and at eight grand a pop that’s only forty eight grand which isn’t even one week’s wage. And we’ve already got wood panelled walls throughout, six chandeliers in every room and more settees than Land of Leather. And how much clobber can you buy? I’m luckier than most because my wife Tracey Michelle can spend for England but even Tracey Michelle finds it hard to get through more than twenty grand a week, but even if she could there’s nowhere to put it because our bedroom, the billiards room, the greenhouse, the potting shed and the gazebo are already full to overflowing with her and my clothes and we can’t put any in the walk-in wardrobe because there’s a car in there.

No, as I say, the life of a Premiership footballer is a lot harder than people think.

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