HJA 437 Scenes 2-4

2.   INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S LIVING ROOM.   DAY

ROSE IS LOOKING OUT THROUGH THE WINDOW. FROM HER POV WE SEE GEOFF AT THE ROADSIDE ENTHUSIASTICALLY POLISHING THE ZEPHYR ZODIAC WITH THE HELP OF YELLOW DUSTERS AND A LARGE TIN OF WAX. HE STOPS FOR A MOMENT TO WIPE HIS BROW AND TO ADMIRE HIS HANDIWORK. ROSE CATCHES HIS EYE. HE SMILES AND WAVES HIS YELLOW DUSTER AT HER. SHE WAVES BACK, WITH A FAUX SMILE WHICH SHE WIPES OFF IMMEDIATELY THE MOMENT GEOFF TURNS HIS ATTENTION BACK TO THE CAR, THEN TURNS AWAY.

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3.   EXT.   OUTSIDE THE HORSEFIELD’S HOUSE.   DAY.

THE HOUSE IS A MODEST BRICK-BUILT SEMI-DETACHED IN THE SUBURBS OF MANCHESTER. A SMALL GARDEN AT THE FRONT AND A GARAGE AT THE SIDE. THE FRONT DOOR IS IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO THE FRONT DOOR OF THE ADJOINING SEMI.

GEOFF SETS TO POLISHING THE CAR AGAIN.JANET, THE HORSEFIELD’S NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR, COMES OUT OF HER FRONT DOOR. SHE IS AGED ABOUT THIRTY AND IS HEAVILY PREGNANT. SHE SEES GEOFF AND CALLS OUT.

JANET:

Morning Geoff.

GEOFF:

(LOOKS UP AND ACKNOWLEDGES HER) Janet.

JANET:

Lovely car.

GEOFF:

It’s a Zephyr Zodiac.

JANET

Well it’s very nice. Is Rose in?

GEOFF:

She was. The door’s open.

JANET:

See you then.

JANET PUSHES THE HORSEFIELD’S FRONT DOOR OPEN.

JANET:

(STEPPING IN) It’s only me, Rose.

GEOFF DISCOVERS A MINUTE PAINT CHIPPING ON THE BONNET OF THE CAR AND FURIOUSLY TRIES TO POLISHES IT OUT.

PETER, A NEAR NEIGHBOUR, SAUNTERS UP. HE LOOKS ADMIRINGLY AT THE CAR.

PETER:

So this is it.

GEOFF:

Oh, hiya Pete. Yes, this is the Zephyr Zodiac. (HE STOPS POLISHING AND STEPS BACK TO ADMIRE THE CAR ALONG WITH PETER)

PETER:
Very nice. Very nice.

GEOFF:

Like new isn’t it.

PETER LOOKS IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS.

PETER:

Oh I like the upholstery.

GEOFF:

It took the skins of three leopards to make that.

PETER:

Go on.

GEOFF:

Three leopards.

PETER EXAMINES THE UPHOLSTERY MORE CLOSELY.

PETER:

You can’t see where they’ve sewn the holes up can you.

GEOFF:

What?

PETER:

Their arseholes, the leopards’ arseholes. You can’t see where they’ve sewn them up.

FOR A MOMENT GEOFF THINKS PETER IS BEING SERIOUS UNTIL PETER’S GRIN TELLS GEOFF THAT HE IS WINDING HIM UP.

 GEOFF:

(SMILES) Bloody idiot.

EVEN SO GEOFF LOOKS IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS, CHECKING THE UPHOLSTERY FOR HOLES.

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4.   INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S KITCHEN.   DAY.

ROSE LEADS JANET INTO THE KITCHEN.

 JANET:

I thought I saw Geoff polishing your new car yesterday?

ROSE:

You did. He polished it the day before too, the day we got it.

JANET SITS DOWN AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WHILE ROSE PREPARES COFFEE.

ROSE:

(CONTINUING) So how long have you got now, Janet? About four weeks isn’t it?

JANET:

(TOUCHES HER LUMP) Yes. The twenty first of next month. Unless I go over, then it will be a Gemini. I hope not because our Beryl’s Colin is a Gemini and he’s a little sod.

ROSE:
Oh I don’t think you’ll go over Janet, you look big enough now.

JANET:

Just think Rose, you’ll be able to go all over the place now.

ROSE:

What?

JANET:

In your new car.

ROSE:

Oh. Yes.

JANET:

It’s ever so posh. Have you had a ride in it yet?

ROSE:

No, not yet.

JANET:

You have that to look forward too then. Geoff will have been out in it?

ROSE:

Only has far as Halfords for another tin of polish.

JANET:

Perhaps he’ll take you somewhere in it this weekend. Where do you fancy going?

ROSE:

I don’t know. I shall have to think.

JANET:

You don’t seem to go out a lot together? You and Geoff.

ROSE:

We never go out together, Janet. It must be five years. And we used to. A lot. The pictures, museums, stately homes, walks in the country. Especially walks in the country. Get the bus to somewhere. No, we seem to have got out of the habit of going out, somewhere along the line. (IT OCCURS TO HER) We seem to have got out of the habit of doing a lot of things.

JANET:

Well he hasn’t bought the car for nothing, has he. He’s probably planning to take you somewhere this weekend.

ROSE:

Well he could be I suppose.

JANET:

If it was me I’d ask him to take me that safari park thing that opened not long back. Knowsley Safari Park. Kath went the other week, Kath Hibbert. She was saying how good it was. Apparently while you’re driving through monkeys jump up onto the bonnet of your car and tap on the window and get up to all sorts.

ROSE:

They wouldn’t stay long on the bonnet of our car once they saw the upholstery, they’d be back up the trees before you could say Jack Robinson.

JANET:

Or anywhere else you fancy. I mean now you’ve got a car the world is your oyster.

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