HJA 437 Scene 10

10.   INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S LIVING ROOM.   DAY.

ROSE IS SAT READING A MAGAZINE. GEOFF COMES IN.

GEOFF:

I’ve put it back in the garage. (ROSE LOOKS UP) The car. I’ve put it in the garage.

ROSE:

I thought we were going for a drive out?

GEOFF:

Well I’m not going to risk them kids hitting it again with their football am I?

GEOFF PICKS UP THE NEWSPAPER FROM THE SEAT OF AN EASY CHAIR, SITS DOWN AND STARTS TO IT.

ROSE

I was thinking we might go to Knowsley Safari Park.

GEOFF:

(LOOKS UP) What?

ROSE:

Knowsley Safari Park. For our drive out.

GEOFF:

Knowsley Safari Park?

ROSE:

It’s near Liverpool. I believe it’s ever so good.

GEOFF:

A bit far isn’t it?

ROSE:
Liverpool? It’s only an hour. It will be a nice run out. We could take a picnic.

GEOFF STARTS READING THE PAPER AGAIN.

ROSE:

Well?

GEOFF:

(LOOKS UP) Well what?

ROSE:

Knowsley Safari Park? Are we going or aren’t we?

GEOFF:

Well we shall have to see, shan’t we. (RETURNS TO THE NEWSPAPER).

ROSE:

Only Janet was saying how good it was. As you drive through looking at all the animals monkeys tap on your window.

GEOFF:

(LOOKS UP SHARPLY) Monkeys?

ROSE:

Yes they climb up onto your bonnet and tap on your window.

GEOFF:

Onto the bonnet? Yes well you can forget that for a game of soldiers.

ROSE:

What? Why?

GEOFF:

Monkeys on the bonnet of the Zephyr Zodiac?

ROSE:

They won’t do it any harm.

GEOFF:

I know they won’t, they won’t be getting the chance.

ROSE:

Them and me both.

GEOFF:

What?

ROSE:

Monkeys can’t sit on it and I can’t sit in it.

GEOFF:

What do you mean you can’t sit in it?

ROSE:

Well I haven’t managed it yet.

GEOFF:

We’ve only had it for a couple of weeks, Rose. I’ve hardly been in it myself.

ROSE:

Well now’s your chance. This afternoon. You’ve nothing else to do.

GEOFF

I was thinking of doing a bit in the back garden.

ROSE:

(FIRMLY) Geoff, I would like to go for a drive out.

GEOFF:

I’m not going to that Knowsley Safari Park place.

 ROSE:

We don’t have to go to Knowsley Safari Park. We can go anywhere you like.

FADE

Published by

Razzamatazz

Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things. Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.

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