HJA 437 Scene 14

For new readers. Read the previous HJA 437 posts starting Feb 5 before reading this.

14.   INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S BEDROOM.   NIGHT.

GEOFF AND ROSE ARE IN BED. BOTH ARE LYING ON THEIR BACKS, GEOFF READING A CAR MAGAZINE WITH A PICTURE OF A ZEPHYR ZODIAC MARK 3 ON THE FRONT, ROSE CONTEMPLATING THE CEILING.

ROSE:

(RESIGNED TO IT) We never are going to go out in the car, are we.

GEOFF:

(LOOKS HER) What?

ROSE:

I beats me. Why did you buy a car if you never intended to go out in it?

GEOFF:

I intend to go out in it.

ROSE:

When?

GEOFF:

When I’ve got somewhere to go.

ROSE:

And when will that be?

GEOFF:

I don’t know. How am I supposed to know that?

ROSE:

Don’t I have a say in it?

GEOFF:

What?

ROSE:

What about if I want to go somewhere? Don’t I have a say in it?

GEOFF:

Well of course you have a say in it.

ROSE:

Right. We’ll go to Hayfield this Saturday. If I have a say in it.

GEOFF:

Right. (RETURNS TO HIS MAGAZINE)

ROSE:

No we won’t.

GEOFF:

What?

ROSE:

Well you’ll find an excuse, won’t you. Like you did last Sunday when you were going to take me to the Lake District.

GEOFF:

There was a severe weather warning for the Lake District on the radio. Blizzards.

ROSE:

Which only you seems to have heard.

GEOFF:
(IGNORES HER) What’s the point of having severe weather warnings on the radio if people don’t take any notice of them?

ROSE:

They didn’t have any blizzards in the Lake District because I looked in the paper the day after.

GEOFF:

They must have made a mistake. Weather forecasters aren’t perfect. There could have been severe weather, and then where would we have been?

ROSE:

Well not in the Lake District because you’d have heard they were going to have severe weather. Or the Black Death, or an earthquake, or a visit from King Kong or something.

GEOFF:

Now you’re talking daft.

A STRAINED SILENCE FOR A MOMENT.

ROSE:

I’d heard about men who have cars and only take them out of the garage every Sunday to polish and then put them back for a week. I never thought I’d end up married to one.

GEOFF:

You haven’t.

ROSE:

Somebody who’s bought a car just so they can look at it.

GEOFF:

I haven’t bought it just so I can look at it. There’s a certain pride of ownership, I admit, but…

ROSE:

Why did you buy it then? If you never intend to go out in it?

GEOFF:

I intend to go out in it.

ROSE:

You could have fooled me.

GEOFF:

Well I am.

ROSE:

When?

GEOFF:

When I’ve got somewhere to go.

ROSE:

Now we’re back to Miss Hay again.

GEOFF:

What?

ROSE:

Radio programme.

FX:   A LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR.


ROSE:

What the…..?

BRIAN: (OOV

ROSE’S POV.  JANET’S HUSBAND BRIAN  IS AT THE DOOR.

ROSE:

Brian?

BRIAN:

It’s Janet, Rose. The baby’s coming!

ROSE:

Have you phoned for an ambulance?

BRIAN:

They can’t come yet. It could be half-an-hour. I don’t think she can wait half-an-hour Rose, she’s in agony.

GEOFF:

What’s the matter?

RESUME ON ROSE.  SHE QUICKLY COMES TO A DECISION. SHE TURNS TO GEOFF.

ROSE:

Get your trousers on.

GEOFF:

What?

ROSE STARTS DRESSING.

ROSE:

Janet’s gone into labour. You’ll have to run her to the hospital.

GEOFF:

In the Zephyr Zodiac?

ROSE:

Yes in the Zephyr Zodiac.

GEOFF:

Can’t she go on the bus?

ROSE:

The bus? The bus stop’s about half a mile away. Anyway it’s too late for the bus.

GEOFF:

No there’s the all-night service. The number ninety four.  Every half…..

ROSE:

(CUTTING IN) She’s in labour Geoff, she could have the baby anytime. She doesn’t want to give birth on a bus.

GEOFF:

And I don’t want her giving birth in the Zephyr Zodiac. There’s the afterbirth….

ROSE:

(CUTTING IN) Fuck the Zephyr Zodiac! You’re running her to the hospital.

GEOFF:

I’ll take her as far as the bus stop.

ROSE:

You are taking her to the hospital!

BRIAN: (OOV)

(CALLS) Rose? Rose are you there?

ROSE:

(CALLS) Coming Brian. (TO GEOFF)

GEOFF HAS STILL MADE NO MOVE TO GET OUT OF BED.

ROSE:

(CONTINUING, TO GEOFF) Come on then, get a move on.

GEOFF:

(GETTING OUT OF BED VERY RELUCTANTLY) Well it hadn’t better be raining.

FADE