HJA 437 Scenes 15-19

15.   EXT. OUTSIDE THE HORSEFIELDS HOUSE.   NIGHT.

ROSE, BRIAN AND JANET, WHO IS IN THE THROES OF LABOUR PAINS, ARE WAITING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DRIVE. GEOFF DRIVES THE CAR OUT OF THE GARAGE AND STOPS AT THEM. HE GETS OUT OF THE CAR WHILE ROSE OPENS ONE OF THE REAR DOORS TO USHER JANET IN.

GEOFF:

Hold on a minute.

HE MAKES FOR THE FRONT DOOR.

ROSE:
Where are you going?

GEOFF:

(TURNS TO HER) We’ll need a sheet or something for the back seat, we don’t want any accidents on the leopard skin upholstery.

JUST BEFORE HE FINISHES SPEAKING JANET HAS ANOTHER CONTRACTION AND GASPS IN PAIN.

ROSE:

Can you hear the poor woman Geoff? Get her to the hospital, now!

GEOFF:

It’ll only take me…..

ROSE:

(CUTTING IN) Geoff!

GEOFF:

Bloody hell.

RELUCTANTLY GEOFF GETS BACK IN THE CAR. ROSE HELPS JANET INTO THE BACK OF THE CAR.

FADE

16.   EXT.   OUTSIDE A HOSPITAL ENTRANCE.   NIGHT.

THE CAR PULLS UP AT THE ENTRANCE. BRIAN GETS OUT OF THE PASSENGER SEAT AND GOES ROUND TO HELP ROSE GET JANET OUT OF THE BACK SEAT. GEOFF REMAINS BEHIND THE WHEEL. WHEN JANET IS OUT OF THE CAR HE TURNS TO GIVE THE BACK SEAT A ONCE OVER, LOOKING FOR STAINS. HIS ARM ROUND JANET, BRIAN USHERS HER TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE. ROSE TAPS ON THE WINDOW TO GET GEOFF’S ATTENTION. GEOFF LOOKS AT HER. SHE INDICATES TO GEOFF TO WIND DOWN THE WINDOW. GEOFF DOES THIS.

ROSE:
Park up. We’ll be in Maternity.

GEOFF:

Park up?

ROSE:

I’m not leaving her now Geoff, she could have the baby any minute. We’ll be in Maternity.

GEOFF:

Well I don’t have to stop.

ROSE:

Yes you do.

GEOFF:

You can give me a ring and I’ll come and pick you up.

ROSE:

You might not hear me.

GEOFF;

Why wouldn’t I hear you?

ROSE

 (CONTINUING)You’ll probably be polishing the car.

GEOFF:

At three-o-clock in the morning?

ROSE:

I wouldn’t put it past you.

GEOFF:

Give me a ring.

HE MAKES TO DRIVE OFF.

ROSE:

Just a minute. (SHE OPENS HER HANDBAG, TAKES OUT A PURSE, TAKES A COIN FROM THE PURSE IN THUMB AND FINGER AND SHOWS IT TO GEOFF) You either park this car up right now then come to meet me in Maternity or I scrape this all down the side of your precious Zephyr Zodiac. Either now or when I get home. And don’t think I won’t.

GEOFF REALISES HE IS BEATEN.

GEOFF:

I’ll see you in a bit.

FADE

17  EXT.   OUTSIDE A HOSPITAL ENTRANCE.   NIGHT.

ROSE AND GEOFF EMERGE FROM THE DOORS, GEOFF YAWNING, AND STEP OUT INTO THE NIGHT GEOFF INDICATES TO HIS RIGHT.

GEOFF:

Car park’s just over here.

THEY SET OFF WALKING.

18.   EXT.   CAR PARK.   NIGHT.

THERE ARE VERY FEW CARS IN THE CAR PARK. THE ZEPHYR ZODIAC IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GEOFF AND ROSE WALK INTO THE CAR PARK. GEOFF IMMEDIATELY REALISES SOMETHING IS WRONG AND COMES TO A SUDDEN STOP.

ROSE:

What’s the matter?

GEOFF:

It’s not here.

ROSE:

Not here?

GEOFF POINTS TO A SPACE.

GEOFF:

It was there. Right there.

ROSE:

Are you sure we’re in the right car park?

GEOFF:

I know where I parked it Rose. Somebody’s pinched it! Somebody’s pinched the Zephyr Zodiac! I knew something like this would happen.

FADE

19.  INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S LIVING ROOM.   DAY.

ROSE IS SEATED. GEOFF IS ON THE PHONE.

GEOFF:

No…………Well can you give me some idea?………………Well how long does it usually take to recover a stolen car?……………As long as that?………..Never?………. Yes, right……………….I’ll give you a ring tomorrow then………………..No, I’ll ring you.

HE CRADLES THE PHONE AND TURNS TO ROSE.

GEOFF:

Nothing. Not a dicky bird.

ROSE:

Well they’ve got the registration number and the description. And it’s only been a week.

GEOFF:

Bloody police. If it hadn’t got a tax disc they’d find it soon enough.

ROSE:

Probably.

GEOFF:

I bet they’re not even looking for it. Well they don’t, they just give the number to the rozzers who fart around in police cars and the few of them who are still left on the beat on the off chance they spot it. Fat chance of that happening.

A THOUGHT OCCURS TO ROSE.

ROSE:

Perhaps we could look for it?

GEOFF:

What?

ROSE:

Well if the police aren’t looking for it…..?

GEOFF:

Me and you should look for it?

ROSE:

Well we could.

GEOFF:

It could be anywhere in the country, Rose.

ROSE:

Yes but it isn’t likely to be, is it. It’s much more likely to be somewhere in Manchester.

GEOFF:

Somewhere in Manchester? Do you realise how big Manchester is?

ROSE:

Well at least we’d be trying. You never know, we could walk down the road, turn a couple of corners and there it would be. (SHE STANDS UP) Come on then, get your skates on.

GEOFF CONSIDERS IT FOR A MOMENT, THEN –

GEOFF:

I’ll get my coat.

FADE

 

Published by

Razzamatazz

Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things. Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.

Leave a Reply