HJA 437 Episode 1 ‘MONDAY’ Scenes 1 – 5

HJA 437  –  ‘MONDAY’.
THE TIME – 1966.  THE PLACE – NEW MILLS, DERBYSHIRE.
1.   EXT.   WAREHOUSE FORECOURT.   DAY.
A WAREHOUSE.  A SIGN ON THE WALL TELLS US THAT IT IS THE BUSINESS PREMISES OF ‘STREET WHOLESALE CARPETS, NEW MILLS’. AN IRON STAIRCASE AT ONE END OF THE WAREHOUSE LEAD TO THE FIRST STOREY OFFICES.
ZOOM IN TO ONE OF THE OFFICE WINDOWS. THROUGH IT WE CAN SEE EMILY SHIELDS SEATED AT HER DESK, TYPING. EMILY IS SECRETARY TO ROBERT STREET, THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY. SHE IS AGED FORTY AND IS RATHER PLAIN-LOOKING.
CUT TO
2.   EMILY’S OFFICE.   INT.   DAY
 

EMILY SHARES THE OFFICE WITH MOLLY WEATHERLY, A CLERK. A DOOR LEADS TO ROBERT’S OFFICE. MOLLY IS AGED THIRTY-FIVE.
AS WE OPEN BOTH EMILY AND MOLLY ARE SEATED AT THEIR DESKS. EMILY IS TYPING, MOLLY IS OPENING MAIL.
EMILY PAUSES IN HER TYPING AND LOOKS ENQUIRINGLY AT MOLLY.
EMILY:
Is there anything there from Mayberry’s, Molly? There should be a cheque.
 
MOLLY QUICKLY SCANS THROUGH THE TWO OR THREE ENVELOPES SHE HAS YET TO OPEN.
MOLLY:
Doesn’t look like it, Em.
EMILY:
And they promised faithfully. Let me know if it doesn’t arrive by the second post.
MOLLY:
Will do.
EMILY IS ABOUT TO GO BACK TO HER TYPING WHEN HER PHONE RINGS.
SHE PICKS IT UP.
EMILY
(ON PHONE) Street Wholesale Carpets………I’m afraid not………Well I’m not sure when Mr Street will be back, he’s gone to pick up his new car. …….Well I’ll let him know you called, I’m sure he’ll get back to you as soon as he…… (SHE HEARS A CAR DRAWING UP THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW. SHE LOOKS IN THAT DIRECTION)….just a minute……
EMILY’S P.O.V.
A NEW BLACK 1966 FORD ZEPHYR ZODIAC MARK 3, REGISTRATION NUMBER HJA 437.PULLS UP IN THE FORECOURT.
EMILY
(V.O.)….. He’s here now. I’ll give him the chance to get his feet under his desk then get him to call you.
CUT TO
3.   EXT.  WAREHOUSE YARD.  DAY
A UNIFORMED CHAUFFEUR COMPLETE WITH CAP AND LEATHER BOOTS, ERIC BERRY, GETS OUT OF THE CAR, WALKS ROUND TO THE PASSENGER SIDE, OPENS THE DOOR WITH A LITTLE FLOURISH, STANDS BACK SMARTLY. ERIC IS AGED THIRTY, SLIM, VERY SMART, GOOD LOOKING.
ROBERT STREET GETS OUT OF THE CAR. ROBERT IS AGED FORTY-FIVE, SMARTLY TURNED OUT IN BUSINESS SUIT, WAISTCOAT AND TIE. A DISTINGUISHED-LOOKING MAN, HE IS A COUPLE OF STONES HEAVIER THAN HE SHOULD BE.
CUT AWAY TO THE WINDOW. EMILY IS LOOKING DOWN AT THE SCENE APPROVINGLY.
RESUME ON ROBERT. HE MAKES FOR THE STEPS LEADING TO THE OFFICE.
CUT TO
4.   INT.   EMILY’S OFFICE.   DAY.
 

ROBERT ENTERS, MAKES FOR HIS OFFICE.
ROBERT:
(TO EMILY) Well that was a waste of time if ever there was one.
EMILY RAISES AN ENQUIRING EYEBROW.
ROBERT:
(CONT) I didn’t have to sign for it after all. (EXPLAINS)The garage said they could have sent the papers on. (EMILY SYMPATHISES) Come through would you, Emily.
EMILY GETS UP AND FOLLOWS ROBERT INTO HIS OFFICE.
CUT TO
5.   INT.   ROBERT’S OFFICE.   DAY.
ON ROBERT’S DESK IS A LARGE PHOTOGRAPH OF HIS WIFE DAWN, AGED THIRTY FIVE, A GOOD-LOOKING BLONDE WITH A NICE FIGURE.
EMILY:
(FOLLOWING ROBERT IN) It’s very grand isn’t it, Mr Street; your new Zephyr Zodiac.
ROBERT:
Do you like it? I was quite happy with the Velox. It was Dawn who talked me into getting it.
THE ROLL OF EMILY’S EYES, UNSEEN BY ROBERT, TELLS US HER OPINION OF DAWN.
ROBERT SITS DOWN AT HIS DESK, EMILY SITS OPPOSITE HIM.
ROBERT:
((CONT) And the leopard-skin upholstery. I think I could have managed without that. But she loves leopard-skin, Dawn; she has a leopard-skin coat.
EMILY:
She better hadn’t wear it in the car then, you’ll never find her.
ROBERT:
(CHUCKLES, SHAKES HIS HEAD) Emily.
EMILY:
It’s very posh though isn’t it. I’d feel quite the lady sat in the back of that.
ROBERT:
(IMMEDIATELY) Would you like a ride in it?
EMILY IS NOT AT ALL AVERSE TO THE IDEA.
ROBERT:
(CONT) I’ll get Eric to take you for a spin; you’ve only to say the word.
EMILY IMMEDIATELY GOES OFF THE IDEA. ROBERT SEES THIS.
ROBERT:
(CONT) What’s the matter?
EMILY:
…Well. I just wouldn’t feel safe.
ROBERT:
No, he’s a good driver, Eric, he came highly recommended.  
EMILY:
It’s not his driving I’d be worried about.
ROBERT:
What do you mean?
EMILY:
Well let’s just say if I was in the back seat I don’t think I’d be on my own for very long.
ROBERT:
……You don’t mean…..? But he’s a married man, Emily.
EMILY:
All married men aren’t like you Mr Street. (REMEMBERS) Oh, before I forget, the Vicar rang. I said you’d ring back.
ROBERT:
He’ll be chasing my donation.
EMILY:
No it can’t be that, you sent it to him last month; I remember writing the cheque, two hundred and fifty pounds.
ROBERT:
No this is something else; the church needs urgent repairs to the flying buttresses apparently.
EMILY SHAKES HER HEAD AT THIS LARGESSE.
EMILY:
I mean I could understand if the church ever bought any carpet off us. We’ll have to start selling stone floors and fonts then we might stand a chance of getting a bit back.
ROBERT:
I think it must be my guilty conscience, Emily; for not going to church.
EMILY:
It would be a lot cheaper to.
ROBERT:
I wouldn’t mind going now and then actually. But churches give Dawn a headache.
EMILY’S EXPRESSION TELLS US SHE ISN’T AT ALL SURPRISED AT THIS NEWS.
CUT TO
 

Back Again

Last February I wrote the following. 

I have an idea for a six part television comedy drama series. It will be about the life of a 1966 Ford Zephyr Zodiac car from when it is bought second hand and in mint condition in 1972 until it meets its demise in a car crusher some thirty five years and six owner later.

The idea is that at the start of every episode the car passes on to its new owner.I will be posting what I write of the first episode in the hope that it might be of use to anyone who may be considering writing something for television but isn’t sure how to set it out on the page. I will also welcome comments from anyone reading it who maybe has suggestions that might improve what I have written. Don’t be afraid to criticise it, I won’t be upset.

That turned out to be the second episode. I am now about to write the first episode, starting tomorrow. I hope you will enjoy reading it and give helpful criticism.

HJA 437 Final scenes

For new readers. Read the previous HJA 437 posts starting Feb 5 before reading this.  

31.   EXT.   A SUBURBAN STREET.   DAY.
ROSE, CARRYING A SHOPPING BAG, AND JANET PUSHING A PRAM WITH HER SHOPPING RESTING ON THE PRAM APRON IT ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET.

JANET:

I’m ever so pleased for you, Rose.

ROSE:

You haven’t heard the best part. (SHE CONFIDES) We’ve started to make love again. Well we never stopped actually, but not so’s you’d notice. But now…. we’ve had it three times this week.

JANET:

Now wonder you’re looking so pleased with yourself.

ROSE:

I think it might have been the mountain air, up Kinder.

JANET:

Could be.

ROSE:

I hope so because we’re going to the Lake District this Sunday and the mountains are even higher there so it could be four times next week.

THEY LAUGH ABOUT THIS, THEN –

ROSE:

Funny isn’t it. I mean I’ve got the car to thank for it when you think about it, the Zephyr Zodiac. In a round about way.

JANET:

How do you mean?

ROSE:

Well I can’t see that me and Geoff would have ever started going out together again if he hadn’t bought it and then it had got pinched. And if we hadn’t started going out again we wouldn’t have started having sex again.

JANET:

Well I suppose.

ROSE:
Well that’s the………..(SHE SUDDENLY STOPS, HORRIFIED, LOOKING AHEAD)…Shit!

JANET:

What’s the matter?

DUMBSTRUCK, ROSE POINTS AHEAD.

ROSES’S POV. PARKED AT THE ROADSIDE, JUST AHEAD, IS THE ZEPHYR ZODIAC.

JANET:

(OOV) Is it yours? Is that car yours, Rose?

RESUME ON ROSE AND JANET. ROSE, CRESTFALLEN, NODS NUMBLY.

FADE

32.   EXT.   BOWNESS.   DAY.


ESTABLISHING PANORAMIC SHOT OF THE TOWN OF BOWNESS-IN-WINDEMERE IN THE LAKE DISTRICT.

CUT

33.   EXT   LAKESIDE BENCH.   DAY.


 

GEOFF AND ROSE ARE SEATED ON A BENCH AGAINST A BACKDROP OF MOUNTAINS. ROSE SIGHS CONTENTEDLY.

ROSE:

I could sit here all day.

GEOFF:

You couldn’t, we’re going to have to go in a few minutes if we don’t want to miss the bus.

ROSE:

You can’t beat the Lake District, can you. Unless it’s the Yorkshire Dales. Can we go there next week?

GEOFF:

Wharfedale. How about Wharfedale?

ROSE:

Can we?

GEOFF:

I’ll look up the bus times.

ROSE:

Lovely.

FADE

34.   EXT.   OUTSIDE THE HORSEFIELDS HOUSE.   DAY.


ROSE AND JANET ARE STOOD AT THEIR RESPECTIVE FRONT DOORSTEPS CHATTING. THEIR DOORS ARE OPEN.

JANET:

So you still haven’t told him then.

ROSE:

I’m not going to.

JANET:

Don’t you feel guilty?

ROSE:

Yes. But I’d rather feel guilty and have some sort of life…..And once he’s got that car back……

JANET:

He might still want to take you out if he had the car back.

ROSE:

Happen. Then again it might not.

FX: WHILE ROSE HAS BEEN SPEAKING HER PHONE HAS STARTED RINGING.

JANET:

Is that you phone?

ROSE NODS AND GOES INDOORS.

CUT

35.   INT. THE HORSEFIELD’S LIVING ROOM.   DAY.


GEOFF PICKS THE PHONE UP. ROSE COMES IN AND SEES THAT GEOFF HAS DONE THIS.

ROSE:

Oh.

GEOFF:

(ON PHONE). Geoff Horsefield………….What?………. When?…….(TO ROSE) It’s the police. They’ve found the car….(ON PHONE) What? Where?……..Right I’ll come and pick it up.

FADE

36.   INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S KITCHEN   DAY.


ROSE IS PREPARING A MEAL. GEOFF COMES IN.

ROSE:

You’ve been a long time.

GEOFF:

I had to make a call at a couple of places on the way back.

HE HANDS HER A BROWN PAPER ENVELOPE.

ROSE:

What’s this?

GEOFF:

Open it and see.

ROSE OPENS THE ENVELOPE AND TAKES OUT A PRINTED SHEET OF PAPER AND TWO TICKETS. SHE GLANCES QUICKLY AT BOTH ITEMS THEN LOOKS AT GEOFF, WHO IS SMILING.

ROSE:

Geoff?…..but where did you get the money… (CHECKS THE PRINTED PAPER)…it’s nearly eight hundred pounds.

GEOFF:

I got rid of the car.

37.   INT.   AIRPORT PASSENGER LOUNGE.   DAY


OPEN ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE ‘WALKING IN THE SIERRA NEVADA’.

PULL BACK TO SEE ROSE READING THIS MAGAZINE. GEOFF IS SEATED ALONGSIDE HER.

TANNOY ANNOUNCER:

Will passengers for flight number ESX 453 go to Gate number twenty three.

GEOFF:

That’s us Rose.

THEY PICK UP THEIR HANDS BAGGAGE AND MAKE FOR GATE 23. WE GO WITH THEM. SUDDENLT ROSE STOPS, BRINGING GEOFF TO A HALT.

GEOFF:

What the matter?

ROSE:

I shouldn’t do this but if I don’t it will be with me for the rest of my life.

GEOFF:

What will?

ROSE:

This….well, terrible feeling of guilt.

GEOFF:

Go on then.

ROSE:

Well you know before the police eventually found the Zephyr Zodiac?

GEOFF:

What Zephyr Zodiac?

ROSE LOOKS AT HIM. HE SMILES. SHE SMILES BACK.

ROSE:

Yes, what Zephyr Zodiac.

SHE LINKS HIS ARM, KISSES HER ON THE CHEEK AND THEY WALK ON.

END

Well that’s it. If anyone has got this far I’d be pleased to read your observations, praiseworthy or otherwise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HJA 437 Scenes 27-30

For new readers. Read the previous HJA 437 posts starting Feb 5 before reading this.

27.   INT. THE HORSEFIELD’S KITCHEN .   DAY.


GEOFF AND ROSE ARE HAVING A MEAL AT THE KITCHEN TABLE.

ROSE:

It was nice on Sunday, wasn’t it. At Didsbury, down by the river.

GEOFF:

Yes. Yes it was all right.

ROSE:

A bit like old times. (A PAUSE) Geoff? (GEOFF LOOKS UP FROM HIS FOOD) Well I was thinking…..Perhaps we could go to the Audenshaw reservoirs this Sunday? (QUICKLY) After we’ve had a good look round the Audenshaw area for the car, I mean. And if we haven’t found it. We used to like going to the Audenshaw reservoirs. I’ll see if I can find our binoculars, we could do a bit of birdwatching like we used to.

GEOFF:

Yes. Yes all right then. If we haven’t found the car.

FADE

28.   EXT. THE AUDENSHAW RESERVOIRS.   DAY.


GEOFF AND ROSE ARE WALKING ALONG THE PATH THAT SURROUNDS THE RESERVOIRS. BOTH HAVE BINOCULARS ROUND THEIR NECKS.

ROSE:

(LOOKING AROUND) It hasn’t changed much, has it.

GEOFF:

Not at all. It doesn’t seem as big.

ROSE:

Things never are when you go back to them after a long time. It’s still big enough  to lose yourself in it though. Forget all your troubles. (SHE STOPS AND LOOKS AROUND AGAIN. SHE POINTS TO A SPOT OUT OF SHOT) You see over there. By those bushes?

GEOFF:

(LOOKS) What about it?

ROSE:

That’s where we first made love.

GEOFF:

Is it?

ROSE:

Right there on that very spot. I was seventeen. You were nineteen. Do you remember?

GEOFF:

Yes. Yes I do.

ROSE:

Really?

GEOFF:

Yes I remember being nineteen very well, it was the year I started shaving and he White Hart darts team won the Brewer’s Cup.

ROSE REALISES HE IS PULLING HER LEG AND PUSHES HIM AFFECTIONATELY.

ROSE:

You!

FADE

29.   INT.   THE HORSEFIELD’S LIVING ROOM.   DAY.

GEOFF AND ROSE ARE WATCHING TELEVISION. A NORTH WEST REGIOINAL NEWS PROGRAMME IS ON.


TV PRESENTER:

Our man on the spot in Hayfield is Keith Evans.

ON TV SCREEN.  CUT TO A REPORTER  WHO IS DOING A PIECE TO CAMERA ABOUT SHEEP RUSTLING. BEHIND HIM IS OPEN COUNTRYSIDE.

ROSE:

Hayfield Geoff!

GEOFF:

Yes.

ROSE:

We never did go there for a drive out, did we.

GEOFF:

We’re not going to get there now unless we get the Zephyr Zodiac back, are we.

ROSE:

We could go on the bus. This Sunday. We could go up Kinder Scout again. After we’ve had a good look round the Hayfield area for the car of course. I mean it’s just as likely to have been stolen by somebody from Hayfield as it is by anyone else.

GEOFF:

Well, I suppose.

FADE

30.   EXT.   KINDER SCOUT.   DAY.


GEOFF AND ROSE ARE WALKING UP KINDER SCOUT. THEY REACH THE SUMMIT. GEOFF IS PUFFING AND PANTING A BIT, ROSE A BIT LESS SO. ROSE TURNS TO TAKE IN THE VIEW.

ROSE:

Cor! I’d forgotten how nice it was. Absolutely breathtaking. Look Geoff.

GEOFF:

I better hadn’t, it’s taken all the breath I’ve got on the way up, I’m buggered.

ROSE:

It’s just that you’re not used to it. You’re a bit out of condition that’s all. Me as well. We’ll soon get our fitness back though if we carry on walking every week. And carry on looking for the Zephyr Zodiac of course.

GEOFF:
Yes.

ROSE TAKES IN THE VIEW AGAIN.

ROSE:

It really is nice up here, isn’t it.

GEOFF:

Gorgeous.

ROSE:

You know where I’d really like to go walking?

GEOFF:

Where?

ROSE:

Spain. The Sierra Nevada.

GEOFF:

We’re not going to find the Zephyr Zodiac in Spain, Rose. Especially in the Spanish mountains.

ROSE:

No, I meant for a holiday. A walking holiday. I saw one advertised in one of the Sunday supplements the other week. A three week two hundred mile trek with a guide. Gorges, waterfalls, eagles on the wing. It sounded fabulous. (GRIMACES) Fabulous price as well.

GEOFF:

How much was it?

ROSE:

I forget. Way out of our price range anyway. Seven hundred and something I think.

GEOFF:

I think it might have to be Blackpool again and a walk along the prom.

ROSE:

Nothing wrong with Blackpool. Shall we walk along the top a bit.

THEY START TO WALK ALONG THE MOUNTAIN TOP. GEOFF PUTS HIS ARM ROUND ROSE. SHE SNUGGLES CLOSER TO HIM AND SHE PUTS HER ARM AROUND HIM.

FADE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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