Goodbye from him

July 18th 2006

If me and the wife hadn’t pitched in and helped out the Decorator’s never would have finished on time. It’s coming off their bill when I get it, too true. AND the tea they drank because they ran out of tea bags again. I told them there was no chance of them ever running out of paint because they never used any. Water of a ducks back. If I ever come back in another life I’m going to be a painter and Decorator. Turn up late, knock off early, drink tea half the time you’re on a job and fart about for the other half, it’ll do me.

“We shall have to charge you the same even though you’re giving us a hand,” said the one without spots. “It’s not our fault we got behind, the van broke down. And we only had it serviced last week. Motor Mechanic’s, you just can’t depend on them Nowadays.”

“Yes, they ought to be Decorator’s if they ever get fed up of being Motor Mechanic’s,” I said.

“You’re a caution Mr Atkins and no mistake,” said the one with spots. “Isn’t he a caution,” he said to the one without spots.

Eight mugs of tea each they drank in five hours. It’s a wonder they’re not brown by now. “We need the caffeine,” said the one without spots. “To cope with the pressure.”

“Pressure?” I said. “What pressure is there painting a bloody door? You don’t know what pressure is. Pressure is what our Soldiers out in Iraq have to put up with.”

“Why, don’t they have tea over there?” said the one with spots.

“They’ll have coffee even if they don’t have tea,” said the one without spots. “They’ll be able to get there caffeine fix from coffee. But I’d be very surprised if they didn’t have tea because Iraq is nearer to India and China than we are and we get tea.”

“It comes from Sri Lanka too, tea, but I’m not sure were that is.”

“Will you for fuck’s sake stop going on about tea and get on with some bloody decorating,” I said.

We eventually finished the job at nine-o-clock at night. Me and the wife that is. The Decorator’s had pissed off at four saying they’d be back in the morning to finish the job off. I told them not to bother as I’d be back living hear by then because Razza is back home from Lanzarote tomorrow.

So I’ll say goodbye for now then. It’s been an experience. Thanks for having me and reading what I’ve had to say in Razza’s blog this past ten days, that’s if anybody’s bean reading it. If anybody has leave a Comment so I’ll know I haven’t been wasting my time and if I get enough I may start up my own blog.