July 18th 2006
If me and the wife hadnâ€™t pitched in and helped out the Decoratorâ€™s never would have finished on time. Itâ€™s coming off their bill when I get it, too true. AND the tea they drank because they ran out of tea bags again. I told them there was no chance of them ever running out of paint because they never used any. Water of a ducks back. If I ever come back in another life Iâ€™m going to be a painter and Decorator. Turn up late, knock off early, drink tea half the time youâ€™re on a job and fart about for the other half, itâ€™ll do me.
â€œWe shall have to charge you the same even though youâ€™re giving us a hand,â€ said the one without spots. â€œItâ€™s not our fault we got behind, the van broke down. And we only had it serviced last week. Motor Mechanicâ€™s, you just canâ€™t depend on them Nowadays.â€
â€œYes, they ought to be Decoratorâ€™s if they ever get fed up of being Motor Mechanicâ€™s,â€ I said.
â€œYouâ€™re a caution Mr Atkins and no mistake,â€ said the one with spots. â€œIsnâ€™t he a caution,â€ he said to the one without spots.
Eight mugs of tea each they drank in five hours. Itâ€™s a wonder theyâ€™re not brown by now. â€œWe need the caffeine,â€ said the one without spots. â€œTo cope with the pressure.â€
â€œPressure?â€ I said. â€œWhat pressure is there painting a bloody door? You donâ€™t know what pressure is. Pressure is what our Soldiers out in Iraq have to put up with.â€
â€œWhy, donâ€™t they have tea over there?â€ said the one with spots.
â€œTheyâ€™ll have coffee even if they donâ€™t have tea,â€ said the one without spots. â€œTheyâ€™ll be able to get there caffeine fix from coffee. But Iâ€™d be very surprised if they didnâ€™t have tea because Iraq is nearer to India and China than we are and we get tea.â€
â€œIt comes from Sri Lanka too, tea, but Iâ€™m not sure were that is.â€
â€œWill you for fuckâ€™s sake stop going on about tea and get on with some bloody decorating,” I said.
We eventually finished the job at nine-o-clock at night. Me and the wife that is. The Decoratorâ€™s had pissed off at four saying theyâ€™d be back in the morning to finish the job off. I told them not to bother as Iâ€™d be back living hear by then because Razza is back home from Lanzarote tomorrow.
So Iâ€™ll say goodbye for now then. Itâ€™s been an experience. Thanks for having me and reading what Iâ€™ve had to say in Razzaâ€™s blog this past ten days, thatâ€™s if anybodyâ€™s bean reading it. If anybody has leave a Comment so Iâ€™ll know I havenâ€™t been wasting my time and if I get enough I may start up my own blog.