19th January 2007

In the Connections game on the puzzles page of today’s Daily Mail appeared the question – ‘What do these six people have in common? – Jeffrey Archer, Frank Bough, Bill Clinton, Keith Richards, Chris Tarrant, Michael Barrymore.” The answer? They were all boy scouts!

Boy scouts for Christ sake.
Of this motley crew, five are serial shaggers who have been unfaithful to their wives and would shag a kangaroo if they could stop it hopping, and the other one is a rampant homo who would shag a kangaroo if he could stop it hopping, provided it was a boy kangaroo. There was I thinking that ‘Scouting For Boys’ was a book and it turns out to be a game you play on Hampstead Heath.
A fine advert for the benefits of sending your young sons off to join the scouts these six reprobates are, I must say. In addition to their sexual shenanigans Archer is a proven liar, Clinton is a proven liar, Tarrant is a proven liar, Barrymore is a proven liar, and I wouldn’t lay very generous odds on Richards and Bough having told more than a few porkies in their time. Baden-Powell must be spinning in his grave.
It’s all very distressing, not least because I used to be a boy scout myself. I mean while I was dib dib dibbing they were probably fuck fuck fucking and telling whoppers and getting away with it. I bet I can tie better reef knots than them though.

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