2nd February 2007
The other day I saw a variation of the ubiquitous â€˜Baby On Boardâ€™ stickers that some people find it necessary to have displayed in the rear window of their cars. It read: â€˜Small Person On Boardâ€™. I thought at first that it meant the car was being driven by a dwarf, and was a variation on the Long Vehicle/Short Vehicle sticker joke, but on looking in the car saw that the small person referred to was a toddler.
Since then, and with time always on my hands, a benefit or curse, depending upon your disposition, that comes with retirement, I have spent quite a bit of time looking at cars to see if I could spot any more â€˜Small Person On Boardâ€™ stickers. I found several. I also found two or three â€˜Cheeky Little Monkey On Boardâ€™ stickers. I did not however, as might be expected, all children by no means being little angels, see any â€˜Little Twat On Boardâ€™ stickers. Nor any â€œWhingeing Little Git On Boardâ€™ stickers.
There is obviously a gap in the market here, and after having a talk with Atkins Down The Road my good friend and I intend to fill it. We are already looking at the economics of bringing out â€˜Little Twat On Boardâ€™ and â€œWhingeing Little Git On Boardâ€™ stickers, plus a â€˜Little Fucking Mardarse On Boardâ€™ and we are of the opinion that we should be able to put them on the market for under two pounds.
Suggestions for other obnoxious children stickers are most welcome.
Ignore this if you have already read it. My books Dear Air 2000 and Football Crazy are now in print. They are priced at Â£8.99 each and are available from Amazon, but readers of my blog can buy them direct from me for Â£7.50 including p & p. Just send me a cheque and I will send the book/books by return.
You can write to me at â€“
Terry Ravenscroft, 19 Ventura Court, Ollersett Avenue, New Mills, High Peak, SK22 4LL