June 16th 2006
Film star Michael Caineâ€™s real name is Maurice Micklewhite. Not a lot of people know that. But a lot of people would guess that he changed it to Michael generic cialis Caine because Maurice Micklewhite is a really crap name. â€˜The Italian Jobâ€™, starring Maurice Micklewhite? I donâ€™t think so. It would never have got beyond a suggestion. â€˜Get Carterâ€™? Get somebody else, perâ€¦lease!
John Wayneâ€™s real name was Marian Morrison. So he was doubly cursed, named both after a woman and a down market supermarket. You can well understand the Dukeâ€™s eagerness to change his name, because if he hadnâ€™t people would have had to call him the Duchess. And just imagine someone called Marian Morrison as a Roman centurion having to deliver the line â€˜This truly was the Son Of Godâ€™. I mean even with the name John Wayne he made a balls of it.
Judy Garlandâ€™s real name was Frances Gumm. Really. â€˜A Star Is Bornâ€™? Not with a name like that she wouldnâ€™t have been. â€˜A Star Is Aborted At Three Monthsâ€™ possibly.
Sean Conneryâ€™s real name is Juan Accent. Enough said.
We can well understand then why film stars change their names. Itâ€™s simply because their real names would be a source of embarrassment to them. And itâ€™s the same with well-known people in other walks of life. For example –Â
John Prescott, who not only changed his name but also his nationality. In reality heâ€™s a Thai named U Phat Twat.
Jonathan Rossâ€™s real name is Jonathan Ranker.
JKR Tolkien was born Herbert Horseshit.
JK Rowling Â was Hannah Horseshit.
Dick and Dom were christened Ant and Dec
Bruce Forsyth was once Jim Smut.
Snoop Doggy Dog was christened Scoop Dogshit.
Mary J Blige was Mary J Bilge (and still is some would say).
Sven Goran Eriksson was born Will Fuckanythingwithapulse.
Gary Lineker was once Gary Mogadon.
Arthur Arsehole was christened Ben Elton.
David Beckham was Hugh Know.
Elton John was once Ben Dover. (It is claimed his real name is Reg Dwight but thatâ€™s obviously a lie as Elton John is an even more embarrassing name than Reg Dwight.Â
There are no doubt many others I havenâ€™t heard of.