HJA 437 Episode 1 ‘MONDAY’ Scenes 1 – 5

MONDAY
THE TIME – 1966.  THE PLACE  NEW MILLS, DERBYSHIRE.
1.   EXT.   WAREHOUSE FORECOURT.   DAY.
A WAREHOUSE.  A SIGN ON THE WALL TELLS US THAT IT IS THE BUSINESS PREMISES OF STREET WHOLESALE CARPETS, NEW MILLS. AN IRON STAIRCASE AT ONE END OF THE WAREHOUSE LEAD TO THE FIRST STOREY OFFICES.
ZOOM IN TO ONE OF THE OFFICE WINDOWS. THROUGH IT WE CAN SEE EMILY SHIELDS SEATED AT HER DESK, TYPING. EMILY IS SECRETARY TO ROBERT STREET, THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY. SHE IS AGED FORTY AND IS RATHER PLAIN-LOOKING.
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2.EMILYS OFFICE.  DAY
 

EMILY SHARES THE OFFICE WITH MOLLY WEATHERLY, A CLERK. A DOOR LEADS TO ROBERT’S OFFICE. MOLLY IS AGED THIRTY-FIVE.
AS WE OPEN BOTH EMILY AND MOLLY ARE SEATED AT THEIR DESKS. EMILY IS TYPING, MOLLY IS OPENING MAIL.
EMILY PAUSES IN HER TYPING AND LOOKS ENQUIRINGLY AT MOLLY.
EMILY:
Is there anything there from Mayberry’s, Molly? There should be a cheque.
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MOLLY QUICKLY SCANS THROUGH THE TWO OR THREE ENVELOPES SHE HAS YET TO OPEN.
MOLLY:
Doesn’t look like it, Em.
EMILY:
And they promised faithfully. Let me know if it doesn’t arrive by the second post.
MOLLY:
Will do.
EMILY IS ABOUT TO GO BACK TO HER TYPING WHEN HER PHONE RINGS.
SHE PICKS IT UP.
EMILY
(ON PHONE) Street Wholesale Carpets………I’m afraid not………Well I’m not sure when Mr Street will be back, he’s gone to pick up his new car. …….Well I’ll let him know you called, I’m sure he’ll get back to you as soon as he…… (SHE HEARS A CAR DRAWING UP THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW. SHE LOOKS IN THAT DIRECTION)….just a minute……
EMILY’S P.O.V.
A NEW BLACK 1966 FORD ZEPHYR ZODIAC MARK 3, REGISTRATION NUMBER HJA 437.PULLS UP IN THE FORECOURT.
EMILY
(V.O.)….. He’s here now. I’ll give him the chance to get his feet under his desk then get him to call you.
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3.   EXT.  WAREHOUSE YARD.  DAY
A UNIFORMED CHAUFFEUR COMPLETE WITH CAP AND LEATHER BOOTS, ERIC BERRY, GETS OUT OF THE CAR, WALKS ROUND TO THE PASSENGER SIDE, OPENS THE DOOR WITH A LITTLE FLOURISH, STANDS BACK SMARTLY. ERIC IS AGED THIRTY, SLIM, VERY SMART, GOOD LOOKING.
ROBERT STREET GETS OUT OF THE CAR. ROBERT IS AGED FORTY-FIVE, SMARTLY TURNED OUT IN BUSINESS SUIT, WAISTCOAT AND TIE. A DISTINGUISHED-LOOKING MAN, HE IS A COUPLE OF STONES HEAVIER THAN HE SHOULD BE.
CUT AWAY TO THE WINDOW. EMILY IS LOOKING DOWN AT THE SCENE APPROVINGLY.
RESUME ON ROBERT. HE MAKES FOR THE STEPS LEADING TO THE OFFICE.
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4.   INT.   EMILY’S OFFICE.   DAY.
 

ROBERT ENTERS, MAKES FOR HIS OFFICE.
ROBERT:
(TO EMILY) Well that was a waste of time if ever there was one.
EMILY RAISES AN ENQUIRING EYEBROW.
ROBERT:
(CONT) I didn’t have to sign for it after all. (EXPLAINS)The garage said they could have sent the papers on. (EMILY SYMPATHISES) Come through would you, Emily.
EMILY GETS UP AND FOLLOWS ROBERT INTO HIS OFFICE.
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5.   INT.   ROBERT’S OFFICE.   DAY.
ON ROBERT’S DESK IS A LARGE PHOTOGRAPH OF HIS WIFE DAWN, AGED THIRTY FIVE, A GOOD-LOOKING BLONDE WITH A NICE FIGURE.
EMILY:
(FOLLOWING ROBERT IN) It’s very grand isn’t it, Mr Street; your new Zephyr Zodiac.
ROBERT:
Do you like it? I was quite happy with the Velox. It was Dawn who talked me into getting it.
THE ROLL OF EMILY’S EYES, UNSEEN BY ROBERT, TELLS US HER OPINION OF DAWN.
ROBERT SITS DOWN AT HIS DESK, EMILY SITS OPPOSITE HIM.
ROBERT:
((CONT) And the leopard-skin upholstery. I think I could have managed without that. But she loves leopard-skin, Dawn; she has a leopard-skin coat.
EMILY:
She better hadn’t wear it in the car then, you’ll never find her.
ROBERT:
(CHUCKLES, SHAKES HIS HEAD) Emily.
EMILY:
It’s very posh though isn’t it. I’d feel quite the lady sat in the back of that.
ROBERT:
(IMMEDIATELY) Would you like a ride in it?
EMILY IS NOT AT ALL AVERSE TO THE IDEA.
ROBERT:
(CONT) I’ll get Eric to take you for a spin; you’ve only to say the word.
EMILY IMMEDIATELY GOES OFF THE IDEA. ROBERT SEES THIS.
ROBERT:
(CONT) What’s the matter?
EMILY:
…Well. I just wouldn’t feel safe.
ROBERT:
No, he’s a good driver, Eric, he came highly recommended. Â
EMILY:
It’s not his driving I’d be worried about.
ROBERT:
What do you mean?
EMILY:
Well let’s just say if I was in the back seat I don’t think I’d be on my own for very long.
ROBERT:
……You don’t mean…..? But he’s a married man, Emily.
EMILY:
All married men aren’t like you Mr Street. (REMEMBERS) Oh, before I forget, the Vicar rang. I said you’d ring back.
ROBERT:
He’ll be chasing my donation.
EMILY:
No it can’t be that, you sent it to him last month; I remember writing the cheque, two hundred and fifty pounds.
ROBERT:
No this is something else; the church needs urgent repairs to the flying buttresses apparently.
EMILY SHAKES HER HEAD AT THIS LARGESSE.
EMILY:
I mean I could understand if the church ever bought any carpet off us. We’ll have to start selling stone floors and fonts then we might stand a chance of getting a bit back.
ROBERT:
I think it must be my guilty conscience, Emily; for not going to church.
EMILY:
It would be a lot cheaper to.
ROBERT:
I wouldn’t mind going now and then actually. But churches give Dawn a headache.
EMILY’S EXPRESSION TELLS US SHE ISN’T AT ALL SURPRISED AT THIS NEWS.
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Razzamatazz

Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things. Hi. I’m Terry Ravenscroft, I’m aged 67 and…..whoooah, come back, I’m not ready to have the lid nailed down on my coffin just yet. Anyway I’m a very young 67. (About five years ago I went to see Pulp at the Manchester Evening News Arena. I was older than everyone else by at least 35 years. The eighteen-year-old next to me asked me if I’d ever been to the venue before. I replied ‘Yes I saw George Formby here once’. She’d never heard of him.) This blog is going to be about my life and the way I see things. Before I retired I was a comedy scriptwriter for Les Dawson and Smith and Jones amongst others so there’s a sporting chance that some of the things I write will be funny. One of the reasons I’m writing this blog, although by no means the only reason, is because I have a website www.topcomedy.co.uk which I hope you will log on to occasionally. I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t like Dear Air 2000…. My hobbies are walking, playing crown green bowls, watching football, birdwatching , cooking, and, according to The Trouble, moaning. Oh, and I have a thing about Kristen Scott Thomas. A couple of people I will be mentioning from time to time are The Trouble and Atkins Down The Road. The Trouble is my wife. I don’t call her The Trouble because it’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘wife, trouble and strife’, but because she has the habit of starting sentences, especially to me, with the words ‘The trouble with you is….’ Then goes on to complete the rest of the sentence with words like ‘you never listen when I’m talking to you’ or ‘you never see the other person’s point of view’ or some such other frivolous complaint. Atkins Down The Road is my best friend and lives, not surprisingly, down the road. I started a weblog a couple of years ago but stopped doing it to write a novel about golf called ‘A Good Walk Spoiled.’ If you want to read the weblog it can be found on my website, if you want to read the novel it can be found on my other website, Razzamatazz, at www.razza.fsnet.co.uk along with lots of other things.

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