19th January 2007
In the Connections game on the puzzles page of todayâ€™s Daily Mail appeared the question – â€˜What do these six people have in common? â€“ Jeffrey Archer, Frank Bough, Bill Clinton, Keith Richards, Chris Tarrant, Michael Barrymore.â€ The answer? They were all boy scouts!
Boy scouts for Christ sake.
Of this motley crew, five are serial shaggers who have been unfaithful to their wives and would shag a kangaroo if they could stop it hopping, and the other one is a rampant homo who would shag a kangaroo if he could stop it hopping, provided it was a boy kangaroo. There was I thinking that â€˜Scouting For Boysâ€™ was a book and it turns out to be a game you play on Hampstead Heath.
A fine advert for the benefits of sending your young sons off to join the scouts these six reprobates are, I must say. In addition to their sexual shenanigans Archer is a proven liar, Clinton is a proven liar, Tarrant is a proven liar, Barrymore is a proven liar, and I wouldnâ€™t lay very generous odds on Richards and Bough having told more than a few porkies in their time. Baden-Powell must be spinning in his grave.
Itâ€™s all very distressing, not least because I used to be a boy scout myself. I mean while I was dib dib dibbing they were probably fuck fuck fucking and telling whoppers and getting away with it. I bet I can tie better reef knots than them though.
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Terry Ravenscroft, 19 Ventura Court, Ollersett Avenue, New Mills, High Peak, SK22 4LL